I've thought about suicide a lot. Not so much doing it, though I have sometimes felt so bored of life that I've thought I may as well, but about why I or anyone else would do it. When I've felt particularly bored of life - same ol shit, different day - I've essentially ended up chastising myself for being unimaginative or just downright lazy.
Once someone contemplates suicide they essentially stop placing value on life, and when that happens the person is liberated to do anything. A lone suicide means that the person values the life of others - they didn't use the terrible strength and freedom of that decision to go postal on their boss etc - and so from their lonely death arises the realisation of a value that may have justified their existence.
I don't feel that value. I don't believe there is a god or any sort of afterlife/reincarnation punishment. I believe that we are animals with instincts and when we die we cease to exist. I don't believe in morals (right and wrong) but I do believe in a... malleable... sort of ethics - how to live your life. I may not instinctively find worth in the lives of others but I would not have a better life myself if I showed this to the recurring characters in this drama we call life.
9 comments:
It irritates me that so many humans need the fear of punishment in the afterlife to live a moral/ethical life...And half those people don't anyways! Suicide is an absolute last resort, and you're right, survival is a natural instinct in all us aminals!
I can't relate to you at all with value. I feel I have a great value to all those around me, and what I do, how I contribute, etc.
I believe that this one life we get is our chance to have a good damn time and carve a name for ourselves into the stone annals of time, for what it's worth.
That's what I'm doing, and I'm enjoying the hell out of it.
If you do decide to shoot yourself, make sure you hit the right part of the head. Had a friend who took a shotgun shell to the head and lived. It wasn't pretty.
steph - i guess when someone does commit suicide it is an emotional decision, they are hurting and they want that pain to stop. if anyone thought about it then they would realise it's daft; life is the ultimate free lunch and you gotta take control of its direction.
note - as i say in the second sentence this was about my thoughts on why anyone would commit suicide, not about my doing it. i am enjoying life at the moment and make no mistake i place great value on my life and how i'm living it!
I'm an Atheist as well. I despise religion and the ignorance that comes with it.
I've never contemplated suicide before. Which is something that I find myself regretting sometimes. Because it's true, when you're that low then you have nothing to lose. You could do anything. The world is yours.
To despise religion is to despise the human imagination and its many ways of helping organize and bring order to even the lowest and most desperate part of our species.
You sound kind of ignorant, Mike.
So, sociopaths probably don't commit suicide often, do they?
nope, not that i am one, but apparently apart from danger/thrill-seeking behaviour they are generally in better than average mental and physical health. shallow affect means low anxiety/stress which is a large cause of health problems both mentally and physically.
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